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Bloomberg: “I Paid Broads Like They Were As Good at Their Jobs As Men”
GOLD VALLEY, UTAH -- Democratic presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg has been dumping millions of dollars of his own fortune into his campaign. The billionaire...
Republican: Free College Plans Set America on a ‘Dangerous Path’ to Intelligent People
THIRD PINE, OHIO -- Senators Bernie Sanders and Liz Warren both have made the idea of some free college for U.S. citizens major components...
Man Starting to Think Supportive Friends Are Bad Judges of Human Potential
LAKE ÉTOILE DÉCLINANTE, ILLINOIS -- Phillip Fillmore, a lifelong resident of his sleepy midwestern hometown, in a small midwestern town, recently sat down and...
Vatican Unveils Papal Vape-als Line of Holy THC Products
THE VATICAN -- Since ascending to the Catholic Church's highest and most important post, Pope Francis has often times taken actions that past popes...
Stephen Miller and His New Bride Enjoying a Lovely Honeymoon Touring Dachau
DACHAU, GERMANY -- Over the weekend, White House Senior Racism Adviser Stephen Miller got married to Vice President Reverend Mike Pence's press secretary, and...
Jesus Christ Announces He’s Returned to Try Another Sandwich
BUFFALO, NEW YORK -- The Bible foretells that when the End Times are upon us, that God's only begotten son, Jesus Hubert Christ, will...
Alabama Teen Sent to Urgent Care With Uncle’s Babies In Her Eye
COU-ROUGE COUSIN SEXE PARISH, ALABAMA -- Doctors and attending staff in the urgent care facility at First United Baptist Methodist Hospital of Lower South...
Tennessee Democrats Considering a 48-Hour Waiting Period for Erections
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE -- In 2015, conservatives in Deep Red Tennesee seriously considered making the Christian Holy Bible the official state book -- eschewing the...
President Trump Devastated First Lady Forgot Him On Valentine’s Day Again This Year
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's Valentine's Day today, but that doesn't mean that President Trump is in good spirits. Sources close to the situation say...
Pundit Who Spent 35 Years Turning GOP Into Cult Trump Could Exploit Has Advice...
For thirty-five years, William G. Williamson has written op-ed columns for various conservative outlets. For many of those years, Williamson was considered one of...
