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Man Outraged FBI Called Him About Death Threat He Issued to Son’s Third Grade...
LOS TERRORISTAS BLANCOS, CALIFORNIA -- Many Americans who live in other states have come to view California as a big, blue monolith.
After years of...
Republicans Race to Defend One of Their Own After Bathroom Confrontation
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressional Republicans have begun to close ranks and circle the wagons in defense of one of their strongest allies -- Democratic...
Kyrsten Sinema Fondly Remembers Duping Arizona Voters Into Believing She’s a Democrat
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Kyrsten Sinema was chosen by Arizona voters to replace the late Sen. John McCain (R), part of what made the...
God: “I Have No Fucking Clue Who This Mango Craycray Greene Is”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, House Democrats passed a bill that, if signed into law, would codify the right to an abortion, ahead of the...
Flynn: “Q Told Me Biden is Putting COVID Vaccines in Busch Beer and Marlboro...
Disgraced former General Mike Flynn is pretty sure that the Biden administration is sneaking COVID-19 vaccines into the bodies of unsuspecting members of MAGA...
Boebert and Greene File Articles of Impeachment Against Hunter Biden’s Laptop
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Democrats and a handful of vertebrate Republicans impeached Donald Trump twice, Republicans warned that there would be recompense. Today, in...
TX Man Unsure Whether to Let Cousin Die From Complications or Sue Her For...
SHITLIP, TEXAS -- Bill Williamson has found himself in some rather unforeseen circumstances before, but he told us during a recent Skype interview that...
Local Fuckface Still Crying and Lying About Losing
FARTS-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- Residents of America's Dong State are probably used to hosting all sorts of con men, liars, racists, and general fuckfaces....
Early Data Shows Justice for J6 Rally Drew Crowd With More Teeth Than IQ...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On Saturday, organizers held the "Justice for J6" rally in the nation's capitol where just eight months prior an angry, pro-MAGA...
Ivanka Confirms No Change in Her Dad’s Balls Since Getting COVID-19 Vaccine
NEPOTISM LAKE, FLORIDUH -- It's probably the most frequently asked question at every American dinner table this week: Will getting a COVID-19 vaccine shot...
