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Old Lady Politely Refuses Jeb Bush’s Help Across the Street
No one wants or needs Jeb Bush's help these days.
Democratic Voter: Cruz’s Birthplace Doesn’t Matter; His Idiotic Views of the World Do
COLD STONE, NEW HAMPSHIRE -- Cynthia Garrison says she will be "pissed as hell" if her fellow Democrats "become raging birthers" over Senator Ted...
New Hampshire Republican Torn Between Two A-Holes
He's just not sure who to vote for in the New Hampshire primary.
Terrified Reince Priebus Finally Realizes No GOP Candidate is as Electable as Mitt Romney
Sources say Reince Priebus is finally realizing his entire candidate pool makes his party look terrible, but what can be done about it now?
Sarah Palin: Why Does Obama Keep Getting Bristol Pregnant?
Sara Palin is pretty sure the president knocked-up her daughter, but is this the first time?
Hillary Clinton Counting on Sanders Supporters to ‘Rally Around’ Her ‘Inevitability’
Hillary Clinton's campaign is hoping that supporters of her rival, Bernie Sanders, will eventually see her "inevitable" status and fall in line.
Paul Ryan Says He Practiced ‘Smug, Punchable’ Face for Weeks Before SOTU
Speaker Paul Ryan reportedly practiced his SOTU facial expressions or weeks.
Nation Prepares to ‘Give a F**k’ About New New Hampshirite Political Opinions
The New Hampshire primaries are in full-swing, which means the nation is pretending to care about the Granite State.
Agrabah Preemptively Strikes Pearl Harbor
After nearly 50% of poll respondents said they'd support a U.S. bombing campaign there, Agrabah launches its own assault on America.
Ben Carson’s Reaction to “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”: Where’s Spock and the TARDIS?
Ben Carson liked the new "Star Wars" film, but felt it was missing a couple key characters.
