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Obama Gives Sanders and Clinton Personal Tour of Confiscated Gun Warehouse
President Obama gave Clinton and Sanders a personal tour of an important government facility.
Ted Cruz to GOP Voters: ‘Think of me as the lesser of two diarrheas’
Ted Cruz knows he's not the most loved, but he wants to be the second-most hated.
Marco Rubio Stops by WalMart on the Way Home for Job Application
Marco Rubio is going to need a new job after this November.
Engineers Prepare to Power Down Marco-D2
Republican android Marco Rubio is in his power down sequence.
Billionaire Pats Money Pile Gently, Reading Super Tuesday Results
Super Tuesday's results gave one billionaire reason to cheer.
World’s Irony Supply Threatened as Mitt Romney Comments on Someone Else’s Tax Returns
Mitt Romney's comments on Trump's tax returns could have lasting, devastating impacts on the planet.
Ted Cruz Would Sign Executive Order Retroactively Deporting All Immigrant Families Ever
Ted Cruz wants every trace of immigrants wiped from the continent.
As Their Candidate Field Narrows, GOP Worries ‘Not Enough A-Holes Left to Choose From’
Does the GOP have enough a-hole candidates left in the race?
Engineers Frantically Adding Five New Talking Points to Marco Rubio’s Programming
Engineers work to cram Marco Rubio's brain full of more talking points.
Islamic American: Marco Rubio Divides Us By Being a Radical Christian
Marco Rubio says Obama divided the country by visiting a mosque, but this Islamic American says it's Rubio that's dividing us.
