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White House Wants Bill Outlawing Abortion After Point Of Erection
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a prayer breakfast in the nation's capital today, the country's vice president and official high religious inquisitor told attendees that...
Kellyanne Conway: “The Market is Alternatively Booming Because Investors Are Alternatively Confident in Us”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After one of its most volatile weeks since the Great Recession last week, which saw multiple steep drops on the Dow...
Mike Pence Was Looking for Coronavirus Videos and Accidentally Watched Pornhub for 12 Hours
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that Vice President High Priest Mike Pence has spent approximately the last twelve hours...
Mark Meadows Named White House Grand Imperial Chief of Staff
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, Donald Trump announced that his loyal and faithful servant, Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney had left his royal court, and...
Man: “You’re Voting for the Wrong Person You Fucking Idiot”
The following is an editorial opinion piece written by Dick Whistler, a local man who has all sorts of political opinions that he feels...
Man Wonders What Would Happen If Everyone Who Said Sanders Can’t Win Voted Blue...
FT. MODERATION, IDAHO-- Tyler Pessimistanto is a 38 year old American voter, and a registered Democrat. He wasn't always a Democrat. In his lifetime,...
Can a Candidate Win the General Election If They’re Enormously Popular and Keep Winning...
With less than nine months to go until the general election in November, the field of Democratic candidates has still yet to shed some...
Moderate Democrat Worried She’ll Have to Vote for Candidate Who Supports Policies She Says...
MT. FECKLESS, ILLINOIS -- 43 year old Suzie Susanton is a lifelong registered Democrat. She comes from a working class background, and has always...
Bloomberg Will Pay You $15,000 and a New Tesla to Tell People He Won...
DESERT SPRINGS, NEVADA -- Last night, former New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg made his first appearance on the Democratic primary debate stage. All...
Anti-Corruption Crusader Pardons Four Corrupt Criminals Because He Cares So Much About Corruption
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The most prominent anti-corruption crusading president in American history issued pardons to eight people today, four of whom were convicted of...
