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Tic Tac Cock Puts Off Banning App TikTok
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A man with a reportedly very small penis has decided that he will not pursue banning social media app TikTok for...
Fauci Reminds Jim Jordan to Wear a Mask and Socially Distance When Ignoring Sexual...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During one exchange between Dr. Anthony Fauci and Congressman Jim Jordan while the former was testifying before a House select sub-committee...
Matt Gaetz Accused of Using Taxpayer Money to Build Bars in His Living Room,...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, Congressman Matt Gaetz (R-FL) admitted that he improperly used taxpayer dollars to pay for things like a television studio...
White House Urges Americans to Perform Nightly Under-Bed Antifa Checks
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With so many challenges already facing Americans these days, the Donald Trump administration reportedly wanted to hold off on issuing the...
Devos Identifying a Few Thousand Students America Can Afford To Die From Coronavirus
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Education Secretary Betsy Devos told the media today that she's been "hard at work" identifying several thousand American children that the...
‘CNN Is Fake News!’ Screams Man Loading His Rifle While Entering Accused Pedophile Pizza...
A man claims CNN is fake news while getting ready to personally investigate a story that has been widely debunked as fake news.
Party of Lincoln Outraged People Keep Pulling Down Statues of His Enemies
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Most every American can name its 16th president. That's because he happens to be, probably, the most famous one, and millions...
Tulsa MAGA Rally Goers to Take “Protective KKKool-Aid Shot” As They Enter Building
TULSA, OKLAHOMA -- As members of the American MAGAban enter the building to partake in tomorrow night's Trump 2020 klanpaign rally, they'll be directed...
Biden Offers to Let Obama Have First SCOTUS Pick as a “McConnell Mulligan”
Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee and former Vice President Joe Biden has, by all accounts, quite a strong relationship with his former boss. The bond...
CEO of Antifa, Inc. Admits Buffalo Franchise Has Been Recruiting From Nursing Homes
SOROS HQ, LITERAL AND ACTUAL HELL -- In a stunning and completely unforeseen development, Bob Antifa, Chairman and CEO of Antifa, Inc., has issued...
