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Super Brave, Heavily Armed Patriot Too Cowardly to Shout ‘Fuck Joe Biden!’ at NASCAR...
BEDFORD FOREST, MICHIGAN -- He estimates that he has roughly six dozen guns, though he brings in new weaponry to his militia's armory so...
8 Things Ted Cruz Has Defended More Rigorously Than His Own Wife
There are few men who are considered braver, or even as brave, as Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-TX).
Perhaps nobody knows the heights to which Ted's...
Trump Promises Windmill Cancer Vaccine If He Gets Second Term, But Will Not Mandate...
BUTTE CHEESE, IOWA -- Former, one term, twice forever and ever and ever impeached President Donald John Trump whipped a crowd of his fervent...
Op-Ed: “My Genitals Are Microscopic and It’s All George Soros’ Fault!”
The following editorial was submitted by the office of Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL). The views and opinions expressed herein are of that of Rep....
New Texas Law Prevents Women From Taking Laxatives Before 9 Months of Constipation
AUSTIN, TEXAS -- This week, a federal judge temporarily blocked Texas' ban on abortions after six weeks.
The new law had garnered quite a bit...
Man Outraged FBI Called Him About Death Threat He Issued to Son’s Third Grade...
LOS TERRORISTAS BLANCOS, CALIFORNIA -- Many Americans who live in other states have come to view California as a big, blue monolith.
After years of...
Cruz Suggests Haitian Refugees at Border Should ‘Check Out Cancun Instead’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A recent surge in Haitian refugees on the U.S. border with Mexico has elicited sharp, persistent criticism from elected Republicans, and...
Pence Says He’s Forgiven Trump for Jan 6th Because ‘Jesus Said to Spread the...
MOSES HILLS, INDIANA -- Speaking before a packed, maskless congregation at a prayer breakfast hosted by a church in his home state, former Vice...
COVID-19 Desperately Googling “How to Prevent Being Drugged and Date Raped”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's something that COVID-19 was sure it would never have to worry about, but now it's all it can think about....
Republicans Outraged Milley Showed More Loyalty to Country Than Trump’s Balls
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For decades, the American people heard a steady refrain from the right-wing of the political spectrum in this country: "Respect the...
