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Republican State Rep. Wants to ‘Defend Christmas’ by Outlawing ‘All Pagan Rituals and Holidays’
CORNHOLE, TEXAS -- State Rep. Tom Thompaulsen (R-TX) filed paperwork in Texas this week, aiming to "outlaw any and all pagan rituals and holidays."
Thompaulsen's...
Is “Let’s Go Brandon” Secret Code for “I Have a Micro Penis”?
Is the hot new catch phrase taking the Bible Belt by storm a secret code phrase that lets men with tiny dicks communicate with...
Wyoming GOP Boots Liz Cheney for Supporting Their Fiscal Sociopathy, But Not Coup Attempts
JONESTOWN, IOWA -- The Republican Party of Iowa voted by narrow two-vote margin yesterday to officially unrecognize Rep. Liz Cheney as a member of...
Rittenhouse Judge Instructs Jurors to Plug Ears, Shout ‘La La La’ During Prosecution’s Closing
KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- As prosecutors in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial present their closing arguments, jurors will not be permitted to listen to them. Judge...
Inspired by Cruz, Next Episode of “Sesame Street” Will Be Brought to You By...
Right from its inception, the educational television show "Sesame Street" has sought to inform and teach young kids about the world around them, as...
Biden Says Treasury Will Add “In Soros We Trust” to All Currency
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden has directed the United States Treasury to prepare the necessary paperwork and draw up new plans for adding...
Warden Denies MTG Conjugal Visit With January 6th Attackers, Citing Illegality of Horse Fucking
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman Congressmare Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) is no stranger to being denied access to the people currently being held in federal...
Mike Lindell: Trump Will Be Back in Power and ‘Make Jesus White Again’ by...
Mike Lindell, CEO of MyPillow and its subsidiary, MyCrackPipe, can be accused of a whole host of things, but one thing no one can...
Hawley’s Wife: He’s the Epitome of Masculinity, Even When She Dreams of Fucking Other...
Erin Hawley, wife of Senator and insurrectionist Josh Hawley (Q-MO), believes that her husband is the "walking, talking, living, and breathing epitome" of masculinity. Even...
Are Humans Capable of Chanting “Let’s Go Brandon!” Without Having a Lobotomy?
In certain parts of the Bible Belt and throughout Red America, chants of "Let's Go Brandon!" are breaking out at sporting events, church gatherings,...
