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TX Man Unsure Whether to Let Cousin Die From Complications or Sue Her For...
SHITLIP, TEXAS -- Bill Williamson has found himself in some rather unforeseen circumstances before, but he told us during a recent Skype interview that...
Cruz: “As Soon as Trump Gives Them Back, I’ll Know If Getting Vaccinated Changed...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, noted virologist and "Wet Ass Pussy" composer Nicki Minaj caused quite a commotion when she divulged that a friend...
AZ Election Auditors Claim Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend’s Balls Switched Votes to Biden
RUBEVILLE, ARIZONA -- This week Cyber Ninjas, the company hired by the Arizona Republican Party to audit the 2020 election, posted an explosive new...
Irony: He Took Preventative Ivermectin. COVID Kept Him From a Hospital Bed After a...
BUBONIC FALLS, IDAHO -- 56-year-old Peter Peterson is in dire trouble, and it appears that he could be living his last moments on Earth,...
Texas Woman Files Paperwork to Reclassify Her Genitals as a Firearm
LIBTERTAD de CUERPA, TEXAS -- Next week, a court in Texas will hear opening arguments in a case that could have wide-ranging impacts in...
Abbott Unsure How to Eliminate Rapists from Texas and Still Host Trump Rallies
AUSTIN, TEXGHANISTAN -- Gov. Greg Abbott (Q) promised reporters and Texghanistan natives alike this week that rape victims have nothing to worry about when...
Texas Informs Congress It Has Added “-ghanistan” to Its Name
AUSTIN, TEXGHANISTAN -- For for the first time in decades, a member of the United States of America has filed the paperwork with Congress...
“Let Me Explain Why Rapists Might Be Entitled to $10,000” by Gov. Greg Abbott
The following editorial was written by Gov. Greg Abbott (Taliban-TX), concerning his state's new 6-week abortion ban. Included in the law is a provision...
Taliban Try to Lure Women Away From Texas With Less Restrictive Laws
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN -- The Taliban are a far-right, deeply religiously fanatical group of people willing to use the threat of violence to cow their...
Texas Man Faces Attempted Murder Charges for Finishing on His Cousin’s Stomach
GILEAD COUNTY, TEXAS -- If he had known its true, full implications, then 36 year old Matthew Palumricci would never, ever have supported the...
