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Kellyanne Conway: Tax Cuts For Rich ‘More Important Than Democrat Crusades Against Biblical Pedophilia’
"The American people need to set their priorities straight."
Trump Will Only Pardon Turkey That Voted For Him
"There are at least 63 million turkeys to choose from in this country."
Nation’s Famous, Elderly, Manipulative, Mentally Unstable Psychopath Cult Leader Inventories Cut In Half Overnight
"That leaves the United States in a precarious position with just one famous, elderly, manipulative, mentally unstable psychopath to carry the load."
Sarah Huckabee Sanders Explains The Difference Between Bucket Of Shit And President
"I gotta try to polish this turd somehow guys."
Lost Chapter From “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” Found!
"It’s clear that the segment's exclusion was as the author intended."
Trump Creates Department Of Comedy And Sexual Misconduct, Louis C.K. & Bill Cosby Will...
"We're equal opportunity harassers in this administration."
Elton John And Donald Trump To Release Collaboration Of Their Greatest Hits In...
"This will be the most popular album ever released."
Comet Pizza Unveils New Roy Moore Signature Pie: 14 Year Old Meat On Old...
Comet Ping Pong -- a pizza restaurant in the Washington, D.C. metro area -- has announced a new, signature pie that will be available...
Trump Wants His Bone Spurs Added To Vietnam War Memorial
"If we can't add them to the memorial, can I give them a presidential medal of freedom or some shit?"
Roy Moore: “It Was Just Locker Room Sexual Predation!”
"I was just following our party's leader, decades and decades before I even knew who he was."
