Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

5 Ways to Tell If You’re Speaking at a White Supremacist Rally (VIDEO)

Representative Steve Scalise may need some help figuring out if he's surrounded by white supremacists, so we put together this segment for his edification.

Obama Brings the U.S. Economy to Its Knees With Best Jobs Growth in 15 Years!

President Obama's threatening to bring the economy down by way of making it stronger, more robust, and adding more jobs this year than in the last 15 years.

5 Republican Pick Up Lines

Are you a Republican looking to make time with a lady folk? Try one of these patented pick-up lines!

5 Lesser Known Rand Paul Conspiracy Theories

Rand Paul's got some pretty "out there conspiracy theories." Do you believe we've found some more?

5 Ways Gay Marriage Has Totally Ruined Our Straight Marriages

Does gay marriage harm straight marriages? You be the judge!

10 Songs On the Palins’ Brawlin’ Party Playlist

Sarah Palin's family's brawl had a pretty sweet custom soundtrack.

Facebook to Extend Content Labeling Beyond Satire

Facebook has decided it didn't go far enough to condescend to its users in labeling satirical content as "satire," and have decided to label more content based on presumed intelligence level.

5 Shows You’ll NEVER See Air on ‘The Sarah Palin Channel’

Just what will the bastion of intellect and sanguine political commentary have on its "airwaves?" We have some thoughts on the Sarah Palin Channel lineup.

Sen. Lindsey Graham: “I was born within 5 minutes of conception!”

After making dubious claims in support of his new abortion bill, Senator Lindsey Graham shocked the world by claiming to have been born just after fertilization.

Like the Rest of Us, God Hated Fred Phelps — A Political Garbage Chute Obituary

We do not mourn for Fred Phelps. We dance upon his grave.