Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me He’d Prefer If MAGA Kept the Him Out of Christmas

"What do they even need with me, when they have that sausage-fingered rapist they clearly worship more than me anyway?" - Jesus Hubert Christ Don't...

“5 NEW Benghazi Conspiracy Theories” by Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX)

No stand down order? No problem. Louie Gohmert's got five more Benghazi theories for you.

“My 5 Favorite iPhone Games” by Sen. John McCain

A leaked guest article from John McCain for a conservative tech magazine gives us more insight into America's favorite stodgy war monger.

5 Things You Can Thank Union Thugs For

5 reasons union thugs don't suck at all.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher: “Earth’s Round Shape Totally Bogus”

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher proves his scientific intellect for the masses.

House GOP To De-Fund The North Pole

House Republicans are moving to de-fund Kris Kringle.

5 Reasons You Give a Shit What Mitt Romney Thinks About Obama’s Second Term

Mitt Romney recently made some comments about Obama's second term, presuming that anyone cares. Spoiler alert: We don't.

8 Reasons Why Ted Cruz NEEDS To Run For President In 2016

Ted Cruz really must love us. He's already talking about a 2016 presidential bid.

5 “Facts” The George W. Bush Library Will Lay Out

Former President George W. Bush says his new library will be a "place to lay out facts," but what facts exactly is he speaking about? We try to answer that.

5 Problems Whose Solutions Are Also “America!”

Maybe Marco Rubio isn't so naive after all.

Two Titans of Titanic Stupidity

Karl Rove and Sarah Palin's feud demonstrates one more time that the GOP is more interested in eating itself than anything else.