Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Man Who Took More Than 125 Days Off Last Year Names The Real Moochers

Rand Paul and his fellow congress people took over 125 standard work days off last year, making him an expert on moochers.

Mitch McConnell To Create New ‘Titty Committe’ With Female Chair

Will Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell be able to get his new mammary-related committee off the ground?

Senate Environment Chair: “Climate Change, Schmimate Change, Let’s Frack The Grand Canyon!”

Will Senate Environment Chairman Jim Inhofe successfully get fracking started in the Grand Canyon?

Ohio’s Most Powerful Drunk Believed to Also Be Poisoning John Boehner

Is there someone else putting toxic chemicals into John Boehner's body?

Why The GOP Is Against Free Junior College (VIDEO)

Why is the GOP against free junior college? Ask this one.

5 Things Mitt Romney Should “Consider” Instead of Running for President in 2016 (VIDEO)

Ol' Mittens Romney-Bot is considering another run for president in 2016, but we think he should have other stuff on his mind.

Rep. Randy Weber (R-TX) To Propose Cloning Adolf Hitler

Is Rep. Randy Weber willing to go to great lengths to prove his Obama/Hitler analogy?

FBI To Start New ‘Republican Governor’ Special Task Force

With the rash of corruption in Republican governors' mansions these days, the FBI has been forced to create a special new task force.

Obama’s Socialist Curse Worsens With Best Year for Jobs Since 1999!

The dangerous socialist agenda of President Barack Obama resulted in the best year for jobs creation in our capitalist, free-market society.

5 Political Predictions for 2015 (VIDEO)

We have no powers to predict anything, but we didn't let that stop us from trying! Here's what we think 2015 will bring us.