Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

The Sarah Palin 2016 Travel Log Entry #1: Ft. Trestle, Indiana

The first installment of Sarah Palin's 2016 campaign travel log.

Ted Cruz: Obama’s Northeastern Blizzard ‘Proves Climate Change is Liberal Hogwash’

Does Senator Ted Cruz really believe that the big northeastern snow storm that pounded the area is proof that climate change isn't real?

“Why I Should Be President” by Sarah Palin

An op-ed from Sarah Palin, making her case for the presidency in 2016.

Senate Republicans to White-Out Three-Fifths Compromise From Original Constitution

Not content to simply whitewash the Senate torture memo, are Senate Republicans really gearing up to make much bigger changes to the Constitution regarding slavery?

Wisconsin Democrats to Propose ‘Pass and Piss on The Piss-Ant’ Law

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker wants to drug test welfare recipients, despite overwhelming evidence it does nothing but waste money, are Dems in his state are fighting back?

Senate to Acknowledge Water Is Wet, Grass May Be Green

The Senate just historically acknowledged climate change as reality, and the so-obvious-it-hurts train doesn't stop there.

Sen. Ted Cruz: Any ‘Hidden’ Planets in Our Solar System Belong Solely to U.S.

Scientists believe there may be two planets "hiding" in our solar system, and Senator Ted Cruz is already claiming exclusive dominion over them for the U.S.

Huckabee – “States Can Ignore SCOTUS on Gay Marriage, Slavery, and Jim Crow”

For a constitutional scholar, Mike Huckabee is an okay bassist.

Mother Earth Files Harassment, Eviction Suit Against Humanity

Mother Earth is suing humanity and attempting to evict it because of humankind's aversion to doing anything about climate change.

Man Who Got Ass Kicked By Obama Sad Obama Reminded Everyone About It

Mitt Romney was defeated mightily in the 2012 presidential election, and he's not very happy that President Obama reminded the country of that in his State of the Union.