Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Jeb Bush: ‘I Would Have Pulled an Iraq Too Because Stupid Runs In My Family’

Jeb Bush said he'd invade Iraq like his big brother did too, but why?

Jeb Bush Asks Incredible Hulk To Advise His Campaign on ‘Gently Tickling People’

Jeb Bush wasn't done making nonsensical hires when he appointed his brother Dubya as one of his foreign policy advisers.

Nebraska Gay Man To Sue ‘All Nosy, Self-Righteous Relics Who Need to STFU and Leave Us Alone’

Has a counter-suit has been filed in Nebraska against the woman who has sued all homosexuals everywhere?

EXCLUSIVE! Leaked ‘Jade Helm’ Operation Details!

The Political Garbage Chute is your one-stop shop for all the Jade Helm details!

“Why God Chose Me To Be Your Next President” by Michael Huckabee

Official 2016 Republican candidate Mike Huckabee pens this essay on why he's the Chosen One.

Texas Governor Greg Abbot Is Tired of Other States Trying To ‘Out-Dumb Us’

Texas Governor Greg Abbot wants the first word on your lips after hearing the word "dumb" to be "Texas."

Ben Carson: ‘F**k Mike Huckabee, I’m the Religious Nuts’ Candidate!’

Dr. Ben Carson wants the world to know he can be just as religiously crazy as Mike Huckabee.

Hillary Clinton Hoping to Still Be Able to Steal Bernie Sanders’ Rhetoric Now That He’s Running Too

Can Hillary steal Bernie Sanders' mojo if Bernie Sanders is actually running against her?

Huckabee: ‘Criminalization Of Christianity is Coming. Just Ask Joel Osteen, Rick Warren, Pat Robertson…’

Mike Huckabee thinks once the gays can get married, it'll be open season on religion in a country with a clause in its constitution expressly forbidding laws against religion.

Conservative Americans Wait Breathlessly for Word on Whether They Have to Stop Being Assholes Now

Does the federal government protecting gay marriage mean the end of an era for America's assholes?