Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Obama to Unveil Birth Certificate, Details of Secret Communist/Sharia Takeover On Jan. 21, 2017

An explosive new document has been released. Will Obama let you read it?

Santorum, Carson, Huckabee, Cruz Plan Debate to Settle ‘Who Here Thinks About Gay Sex More?’

Campaign staffers from Rick Santorum 2016, Ben Carson 2016, Mike Huckabee...

Bernie Sanders Gives Speech Hillary ‘Plans to Crib From Heavily’

Bernie Sanders gave a rousing speech to start his presidential campaign, which excites Team Hillary...to have something to copy from.

Obama Gun Confiscation Count: Week #409

Another weekly look at the stockpile of arms Obama has taken from the people.

“My Name is Rick Santorum, and Here’s Why I Am Frothing to Be Your President”

Rick Santorum wants to be president really badly, and he even told us all why.

5 Ways Obama Has Totally Destroyed the Constitution

How has Obama destroyed the Constitution? We have five ways right here, pal.

Reince Priebus: GOP Hired Engineers To Fit All 180 Candidates on Debate Stage

RNC Chairman Reince Priebus says his party's re-engineered stage will fit all the myriad candidates for president they currently have.

What These 2016 Presidential Hopefuls Would Do For a Klondike Bar

We asked ten 2016 presidential hopefuls a very important question.

Pat Robertson: ‘I’m Not Sure Who or What to Blame Texas Flooding On’

Rev. Pat Robertson just can't figure out why super-conservative, super-Christian Texas was hit with God's wrath, when it's usually pro-gay states that get it.

Justice Scalia ‘Too Focused’ on Gay Sex to ‘Even Think About’ Poor and Sick People

Can Justice Scalia focus well enough to write scorching refutations of modernity on TWO separate subjects?