Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Wayne LaPierre Calculating Body Count Needed to Do Something About Access to Guns

Wayne LaPierre, executive VP of the NRA, is working his calculator to the bone figuring how many people have to die before anything can be done about guns.

U.S.A. Just 5 School Shootings Away From Free One

The NRA has a special offer for America once we've had five more school shootings this year.

NRA Executive: 45 School Shootings ‘Too Soon’ To Talk About Guns

How many school shootings in a year does the NRA think warrant a discussion about guns in America?

10 Dead in Mass Second Amendment Demonstration at Oregon Community College

A mass Second Amendment demonstration has taken place at Umpqua Community College in Oregon, leaving ten dead.

Carly Fiorina Reflects on the Time She Cast The One Ring Into the Fires of Mt. Doom

Carly Fiorina's penchant for exaggeration keeps on keepin' on.

Trey Gowdy To Give Kevin McCarthy a ‘Hearty Spanking’ For Benghazi Investigation Comments

Kevin McCarthy is in for a little corporal punishment for his Benghazi hearing gaffe on Hannity.

Nearly A Million People Have Donated to Presidential Campaign That Cannot Win

Since when did being popular mean you win elections, Bernie Sanders?

Carly Fiorina Fondly Recounts the Time She Found Atlantis

Did you know Carly Fiorina once found the Lost City of Atlantis? Of course you didn't, but she'll tell you all about it.

Pope Francis and Kim Davis Meet, Discuss Bigotry and Baking Recipes

What happens when Pope Francis and Kim Davis meet? Bigotry collaborations and baking recipe swapping, of course.