Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Who Said It: Ben Carson or A Box Of Rocks?

Can you guess whether Dr. Ben Carson or a Box of Rocks said each of these 7 things?

Obama Calls Paris Attacks ‘Islamist Terrorism,’ ISIS Immediately Surrenders

Like magic, as soon as Obama used the words "Islamist Terrorism" to describe the Paris attacks, ISIS surrendered.

French Officials Consider Sending Bill For Terror Clean Up to Dick Cheney

Officials in France are considering the legality of sending a bill to Dick Cheney for cleaning up after the Paris terror attack.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #354

As Obama's Gun Confiscation marches on, the question becomes will any guns be left in America when he's done?

GOP Worried That Morons They Courted For Eight Years Could Cost Them Election

The establishment wing of the GOP is shaking in their boots over the people who support Carson and Trump.

Ohio Schools Set to Start Teaching Pull-Out Only Sex Ed Classes

Ohio sex ed classes just a got a whole lot more interesting.

Obama Mistakenly Receives Early Christmas Card from Defense Contractor

When Obama decided to extend the Afghan War indefinitely, he put himself on every defense contractor's Christmas card list.

Atheist Nevada Judge Orders Foster Child Removed from Mormon Family Home

Judge Scott Johansen in Utah has decided to remove a foster child from an LGBT couple's home, and one Nevada judge has a response.

Matt Drudge Thinks Hillary Clinton Wears a Wig, Has Peg Leg, Is a Pirate

Matt Drudge has some new, interesting theories about Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Presdient Ben Carson Would Tap Herman Cain For Ambassador to Uzbekibekistanstan

If Ben Carson were to be elected next year, he already has someone in mind for a key State Department position.