Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Dr. Oz Hopeful Republican Voters Still Like Electing Snake Oil Peddling Douchebags

This week, Dr. Oz, who rose to prominence and fame thanks...

Sexual Predator Poised to Give Rapists More Parental Rights

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, one of America's...

Can God Be Prosecuted for Miscarriages if the Supreme Court Throws Out Roe?

There's been awful lot of talk about abortion in America lately....

In Hindsight, Crossing Horse, Demon, and Nazi DNA Was Probably a Bad Idea

The following is an excerpt from a new book entitled, "Making...

Justice Barrett Will Let Her Husband Decide Her Vote on Mississippi Abortion Law

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's unclear whether it was her intention to...

BOMBSHELL: Donald Trump Tested Positive for Stupidity Hours Before 2020 Debate

In a newly published excerpt from his upcoming memoir from the...

Michigan High School Hosts America’s Most Recent Mass Second Amendment Demonstration

OXFORD, MICHIGAN -- Three students are dead, and six others have...

Supreme Court To Carefully Consider Pros, Cons Of Forcing Teens to Have Fathers’ Rape Babies

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the first time in decades, the United...

Sewer Security Guard Apologizes for Allowing Two Turds to Escape and Get Elected to Congress

FECALBERGH, PENNSYLVANIA -- At a hastily thrown together press event this...

Boebert Wants an FDA Update on Approving Bleach Injection Boosters

Congressmoron Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) is an outspoken, devoted follower and gatekeeper...