Totally Bulls*it News

Can I File an Extension If I’m Not Ready to Control My Wife By January 20th?

I don't really want to go to jail because I couldn't figure out how to wrangle my wife's genitals into their holding pen before...

4 Year Old Syrian Refugee: ISIS Tried to Recruit Me With Candy, Nick Jr. Shows

One young Syrian Refugee tells the press about being recruited by ISIS/Daesh.

Trump Surrogate: Let’s Put the Refugees in Our FEMA Camps!

One Republican is defending another who suggested rounding up Syrian refugees. Where have we heard that before?

Jeb!: We Can Defeat ISIS With ‘The Bush Family Secret Recipe for Middle East Success’

Jeb Bush talked about how he'd beat ISIS, and gave some specifics to his plan.

Marco Rubio: Syrian Refugees Can Wear Special Patches to ‘Help Spot Them in a Crowd Better’

Does Marco Rubio think asking Syrian refugees to wear special patches will help national security?

NRA Exec: Terror Suspects Have Second Amendment Rights Too!

One NRA executive explains why it's a good thing that terrorists can pass the FBI Background check.

Ted Cruz Unsure If He Should Attack Mexican Immigrants or Syrian Refugees More

Ted Cruz is debating whether to stoke more fear over immigrants or refugees.

‘A Kindler, Gentler Sharia’: John Kasich Explains His Proposed Department of Christianity

John Kasich explains why his idea of creating a Department of Jesus isn't a violation of the first principle of the Bill of Rights.

Muslim American Wondering When He Can Start Generalizing About Christians

One American Muslim ponders when he'll get to make assumptions about Christians like they make about him.

Heaven to Close Gates and Turn Away Xenophobic Americans

God and his son Jesus are not happy about some Americans' response to the Syrian refugee crisis.

Syrian Refugee Wants To Dodge American Bullets For A Change

One Syrian refugee tells us why he wants to move to America.