Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Reince Priebus Fashions Donald Trump Analogue Out of Bag of Farts for GOP Debate

Without Trump in tonight's debate, Reince Priebus was left to scramble for a solution.

Last Twix in Breast Pocket Stops Bullet, Saves Oregon Militia Squatter’s Life

During the arrest of its leader, another member of the Oregon militia was struck by a stray bullet.

Nation Tries to Muster All Its “Give a Fuck” About Dead Oregon Militia Squatter

Oregon Militia Squatter LaVoy Finicum is dead. But does anyone care?

Daesh Spokesman: We Will Hire Megyn Kelly If Donald Trump Wins Election

Daesh thinks they may have found Donald Trump's mortal weakness -- Megyn Kelly.

Trump Bails On Next GOP Debate So He Can Miss Megyn Kelly’s ‘Ragtime Blues’

Donald Trump has a biological reason for skipping the next Fox News Republican debate.

Gun Nut: I Had No Idea Naval Bases Were Gun Free Zones!

One libertarian's confused reaction to the NMCSD shooting.

“Life on Easy Street” by Poorsy McGee

According to a new poll, conservatives think the poor "have it easy." As our guest columnist, Poorsy McGee writes, maybe they're correct!

Rand Paul in Iowa, Desperately Flailing Arms at Cameras Covering Donald Trump

Rand Paul is getting desperate; very desperate actually.

Carly Fiorina Tweets ‘Oops, J/K, LOL!’ After Planned Parenthood Sting Video Producers’ Indictment

From her twitter account, Carly Fiorina sends message of apology for pushing the Planned Parenthood sting videos so hard.

Scientists Announce New Global Phenomenon: “La Clima Chante”

La Clima Chante could mean quite a climate change for some, warn scientists.