Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Just Ordered Epstein Island Relocated to Gulf of America

"...we can just hook up a couple bungee cords to the island, then tie those to one of our, you know, big ship thingies...

5 Names Donald Trump Would Give to “Planet 9”

Donald Trump is good at naming stuff, just ask him. So what would he call the newly discovered Planet 9?

Darrell Issa: Benghazi Movie Wouldn’t Have Flopped If They Had Me Write The Script

Darrell Issa is upset he wasn't given a chance to write the Benghazi movie's script, and he says that is why it flopped.

Hillary Clinton Counting on Sanders Supporters to ‘Rally Around’ Her ‘Inevitability’

Hillary Clinton's campaign is hoping that supporters of her rival, Bernie Sanders, will eventually see her "inevitable" status and fall in line.

Sarah Palin’s Trump Endorsement: A Translation for Smart People

Sarah Palin's endorsement of Donald Trump was every bit the rambling incoherent mess you'd expect, so we translated what we could for you.

After Palin Endorses Trump, Cruz Looks For His Own Moron Endorsement

Sarah Palin's endorsement of Donald Trump is a major setback for Sen. Ted Cruz's presidential aspirations.

Local Republican Terrified He’ll Have to Blame Everything on Someone Other Than Obama After This Year

When President Obama leaves office next year, there will be a great many people like this man with lots of time on their hands.

Bernie Sanders Zealot and Hillary Clinton Acolyte Argue Over Who is More Annoying to Average Voters

Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton -- whose die-hard sycophants and annoy more average voters?

Oregon Militia Squatter Awarded Silver Cross For Beer Run

Another award for bravery has been given to a member of the Oregon Militia.

Eric Bolling Calls for Government Operations Committee to Investigate Sesame Street

Eric Bolling wants that commie bastion "Sesame Street" investigated.

Ted Cruz: I’m Running to be President of the Republican States of America

Ted Cruz explains his Texas values mean he doesn't give a crap about people he doesn't agree with.