Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Oklahoma Republicans Order “Fuck Rape Victims” Cake to Celebrate Passing Total Abortion Ban

Republicans in Oklahoma reportedly celebrated their abortion ban with an unusual cake.

Trump: ‘I’ll prove I’m not a misogynist and charm the bitch outta’ Megyn Kelly

When Donald Trump sits down with his next interview with Megyn Kelly, he says things will be different.

Cruz, Kasich Agree to Trade-Off Being ‘Sligthly More Palatable Diarrhea Sandwich’ to Trump

Ted Cruz and John Kasich sent a letter to voters over the weekend.

North Carolina Republican Proposes Genitalia Registration Service

A Republican in North Carolina has a new idea for transgender bathroom access.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #377

Hide your gear, Obama's Gun Confiscation is here!

Transgender Man Wants Separate Bathrooms for ‘People Who Can’t Stop Thinking About My Crotch’

One man wants separate bathrooms for people who stop caring about his private parts.

SuperPAC Owner Threw Hundred Dollar Bills at Sanders Supporter to ‘Make Her Go Away’

A meeting between a pro-Hillary SuperPAC owner and a Sanders supporter.

DEA Agent in Colorado Explains Why the Drug War Has Totally Kept People off Pot

One DEA agent explains how successful he thinks the War on Drugs has been.