Totally Bulls*it News

She Told Her Boyfriend She’s Keeping Her Vote Secret Until He Finds Her Clit

Regular readers will recall that one of the things we pride ourselves on most here is our ability to secure interviews with the nation's...

Republican Voter Wants Thermonuclear Devices Okayed for GOP Convention

One Republican doesn't think guns at the GOP Convention is enough.

Obama Gives Sanders and Clinton Personal Tour of Confiscated Gun Warehouse

President Obama gave Clinton and Sanders a personal tour of an important government facility.

Bird Lands on Trump Podium, Donald Gleefully Smashes It With His Shoe

Donald Trump had an unexpected interruption at a recent rally, and handled it as only he could.

Muslim Cop Patrols Ted Cruz’s Neighborhood for Douchebags, Finds One Named Ted Cruz

While patrolling Ted Cruz's neighborhood, this Muslim cop finds something horrible.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #373

Another week, another tally of Obama's Gun Confiscation's stolen freedoms.

God to Michele Bachmann: Shut your stupid fuckin’ mouth

God has had enough of Michele Bachmann speaking for him.

Dick Cheney Endorses Donald Trump For His Waterboarding Comments After Belgium Attack

Donald Trump picks up a yooge endorsement from a fellow a-hole.

Hillary Clinton Literally Sharpening Her Claws in Preparation for Showdown With Trump

Hillary Clinton doesn't appear to be messing around when it comes to preparing for Trump.

Random Woman: I have no clue who the fuck the guy that just endorsed Trump is.

Some guy endorsed Trump over the weekend, and this woman has no idea who he is.