Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Donald Trump Says As President He’d Annex Jupiter

"If that doesn't work out, we just take NASA into Chapter 11."

Native American Man Spends July 4th Telling Americans To ‘Go Back’ Where They Came From

"An entire country of Mississippians. I don't want that, you don't want that."

Dick Cheney, ISIS Argue Over Who Gets Credit For Baghdad Carbombs

SITH TEMPLE, CORUSCANT -- After claiming responsibility for the tragic twin car...

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #386

A weekly count of the liberty lobbers stolen in Obama's Gun Confiscation Count.

FiveThirtyEight: 92% Chance Americans Will Consider 2016 Winner A ‘Total Douchebag’

The math whizzes at FiveThirtyEight have a new prediction for this year's election.

Gun Lobbyist Turned Away By Customer Service Because He Can’t Find Receipt For Congressman

"When we purchase congressmen, we expect them to run our programming consistently."

Colorado Man Sends Trey Gowdy $7 Million Invoice For ‘Two Year Long Hillary Attack Ad’

The man feels Gowdy spent $7 million on anti-Hillary campaign ad.

Trey Gowdy: Hillary Clinton Wasted $7 Million In Taxpayer Money ‘Not Being Guilty Of Anything’

Gowdy characterized Hillary Clinton as "stubbornly not criminal or treacherous."

House Benghazi Report Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Second Gunman On Grassy Knoll

The Benghazi Report also reveals she was behind Jar Jar Binks.