Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Asks Congress If He Can Take The Oath Of Office In Russian And English

President-elect Trump wants to take his oath of office in two languages. English, and the language spoken by his BFF Vlad, Russian.

Obama To Change @POTUS Twitter Password To “1MNID10T”

President Obama's got a plan to put the brakes on Trump doing real damage with the official presidential Twitter account.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #412

If it's a day that ends in "Y," Barack Obama is obsessed with the confiscation of your sweet, living, kind, benevolent instrument of instant death.

“5 Reasons The Religious Right Loves Donald Trump”

Why would the Religious Right, a pious and moral group, vote for an amoral sleaze bucket like Donald Trump? We found some reasons.

Obama To Rename Affordable Care Act “Trumpcare” By Executive Order

President Obama is banking on Republicans hating TrumpCare a lot less than they hate the Affordable Care Act, but will it work?

Bill O’Reilly Offers To Give Megyn Kelly A Goodbye Grope ‘In Honor Of Roger Ailes’

Fox host Bill O'Reilly really wanted to send Megyn Kelly off to NBC in a way that their former boss would truly appreciate.

Putin: Donald And I Are Saving Each Other For Our Inauguration Day

Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump want to have a very special relationship these next few years, so they are taking their time.

Charles Manson Rushed From Hospital To Trump Tower

By special request of Steve Bannon, convicted killer Charles Manson is flown from the hospital to a meeting at Trump Tower.

Trump Admits Wanting To Know What Vladimir Putin’s Dick Tastes Like

Donald Trump is focusing on beefing up his foreign policy chops, starting with getting to the bottom of the taste of Vladimir Putin's penis.

Man Plans Transition From Blaming Obama For Everything To Blaming Obama For Everything Trump Fucks Up

Blaming Obama has become such a routine, vital part of this man's life that he's had to plan for how to handle it when Trump is president.