“Donald Trump’s 2017 New Year’s Resolutions”

Published on

As 2016 winds to a close, and we brace ourselves for losing approximately 200,000 more beloved members of society in its waning hours, it’s time to also start looking toward the future; toward the horizon. Some of us like to set new goals for ourselves at the start of every new year, and we call those goals “New Year’s Resolutions.” Even orange faced, ill-informed, self-aggrandizing huckster carnival barkers-elect probably like to have goals for themselves too!

So what kinds of things made Donald Trump’s New Year’s Resolutions for 2017? He’s going to be the most powerful man in the free world in just a matter of weeks, days almost. So does that impact his decisions when making his resolutions?

Our crack research staff here at The Political Garbage Chute put in some long, hard hours and they helped compile the following segment. We hope you enjoy it. Happy New Year, everyone! Here’s to 2017 being every bit the bright, shining star of warmth and hope for humanity that 2016 was, eh?

Eh?

Watch “Donald Trump’s 2017 New Year’s Resolutions” below.

If you like this or any of our video segments, please consider subscribing to our YouTube Channel.





Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.

Latest articles

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...