Totally Bulls*it News

Can I File an Extension If I’m Not Ready to Control My Wife By January 20th?

I don't really want to go to jail because I couldn't figure out how to wrangle my wife's genitals into their holding pen before...

Brave, Maskless Patriot Would Rather Be Arrested Than Leave McDonald’s Without His McNuggets

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- At the time of publication, right-wing...

Judge: Trump Must Give Congress All His McDonald’s Receipts From January 6th, 2021

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former President Don Trump just keeps getting bad...

Melania Trump’s Husband Only Interested in Ivanka’s NFT

Today, former Third First Lady Melania Trump announced that she was...

Can Getting Hair Plugs Also Cure Your Rich Cuntitis?

One thing is clear about them -- hair plugs will make...

DeSantis Orders Critical Race Theory Detectors Installed on Every Florida Campus

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q) is on a crusade...

Sen. Warren Proposes 80% ‘Billionaire Twatwaffle Tax’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) unveiled legislation...

Remembering When Obama’s Chief of Staff Was Held in Criminal Contempt of Congress

In American history, Real Patriots know one thing -- only Democrats...

Selected Excerpts from Mark Meadows’ January 6th Text Messages

Just how much the buzz about former White House Chief of...

Trump Jr. Texted Trump on January 6th Asking If His Dad Loves Him But Never Got a Response

Despite still resisting his congressional subpoena, former White House Chief of...

Meadows Said National Guard Would ‘Protect Pro-Toothless Incestuous Racism People’ on Jan. 6

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Texts and emails turned over to the January...