Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

President Trump Signs Executive Order Officially Classifying U.S. As Alternative Christian Nation

Another day, another executive order written by President Donald J. Trump. This one is meant to ease tensions after signing a Muslim ban.

Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 7

Some might think you can't really measure American Greatness, but we've found an alternative scientific method to do just that.

Mexico Offers To Pay For Pest Control Service To Remove ‘La Cucaracha Naranja Gigante’ From The White House

President Donald Trump may not be able to get Mexico to pay for his border wall, but that doesn't mean they aren't willing to pay for other things.

Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 6

Each day gives us another chance to accurately track just how much American Greatness there is in the good ol' U.S. of A.

Screeching, Racist Broom Handle In A Blonde Wig To Fill In For Vacationing Tammy Lahren

Right-wing pundit Tammy Lahren is taking a much-needed vacation, and her network has found the absolute perfect analogue for her while she's gone.

President Trump Signs Executive Order Declaring Himself Winner Of 2016 Popular Vote

With his newest executive order, President Donald J. Trump hopes to permanently remind people he won the popular vote last year.

Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 5

Each day gives us another chance to accurately track just how much American Greatness there is in the good ol' U.S. of A.

Local Confederate Flag Defender Really Tired Of ‘Libtards Not Accepting’ President Trump

Clem O'Connell loves his confederate flag, and he's very angry that liberals haven't accepted President Trump's election yet.

Trump Wants Voter Fraud Investigation Because Even He Doesn’t Believe So Many People Were Dumb Enough To Vote For Him

President Donald Trump wants a "major investigation" into whether or not there was widespread voter fraud committed in last year's election.

Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 4

Each day gives us another chance to accurately track just how much American Greatness there is in the good ol' U.S. of A.