Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Del Mar Racetrack Cancels Greene’s Stable Rental Due to Lack of Payment

DEL MAR, CALIFORNIA -- Freshman Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene will no...

Bipartisanship: Democrats Manchin & Sinema Eager to Block Democrats Replacing Justice Breyer

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Few things cause quite so much commotion in...

Tucker Carlson Lands Exclusive Interview With Putin’s Taint

A visibly excited Tucker Carlson announced on Fox News this morning...

We Know It’s Not a Brain, So What’s Inside Dan Bongino’s Enormous Skull?

Of all the right-wing media personalities in America, none have a...

Bongino Leaves YouTube and Will Exclusively Post Show Clips on His Giant Fucking Forehead

This morning, right-wing agitator and propagandist Dan Bongino announced that he...

She Will Not Comply With Vaccine Mandates, Mask Mandates, or Basic Standards of Human Hygiene

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman congressmare Marjorie Taylor Greene is, to put...

Biden: “I Don’t Know Pete Doocy’s Parents, So I Had No Right to Call Him a Son of a Bitch.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, a Fox News White House reporter asked...

Responding to Backlash, There Will Soon Be an Inbred, Anti-Vaxxer White M&M

McLEAN, VIRGINIA -- When executives at Mars, Incorporated approved updates to...

Tucker Carlson Will Rub Reese’s Pieces on His Ken Doll Patch Instead

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Fox News host Tucker Carlson is...

Investigators Find Justice Thomas’ Pubes on Forged Electoral Certificates

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In an attempt to keep defeated President Donald...