Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Supporter Wonders Which Muslim Country Orlando Workplace Shooter Came From

After a shooting rampage in Orlando kills five, one Trumper wonders which Muslim country the shooter came from.

James Comey Seen Running Through Streets of Philadelphia Ahead of Congressional Testimony

Fired FBI Director James Comey has been seen in and around Philadelphia, training for his upcoming Congressional testimony.

Trump To Pull U.S. Out of Treaty of Appomattox

The Paris Climate Accords were just the beginning. President Trump plans to reexamine every treaty the U.S. has ever signed.

Trump Supporter Glad to Have The President ‘Tweeting Crazy Shit from Home’ Again

Donald Trump is back home from his long trip abroad, and this supporter of his is just glad the crazy tweets are coming from Washington once more.

Trump Says U.S. Didn’t Need Paris Accords Because NASA Found Planet Covfefe & We’ll Live There

Who needs Earth when you can trade it up for a newer, hotter planet? That's Trump's philosophy and why he ditched the Paris Accords.

Man Who Probably Won’t Be Alive in 20 Years Super Glad Trump Just Fucked Over the Planet

By dropping out of the Paris Accords, Donald Trump has imperiled the planet, but that doesn't matter to this old dude.

Trump Was ‘Not Sure’ If He Should Try To Save The Planet He Thinks Revolves Around Him

Before making his important, landmark decision on the Paris Climate Accords, President Trump had some soul searching to do.

Spicer Cancels Press Briefings, Will Shout Talking Points From Inside Oval Office Instead

Sean Spicer and the White House have decided that on-camera press briefings are too challenging, and will just shout talking points from the Oval Office.

Guy Who Put Out “Pray 4 Assassin” Obama Dummy Outraged by Kathy Griffin Trump Beheading

One Obama hating man is really disgusted by Kathy Griffin doing something he wishes he had the guts to have done with Obama.

Kellyanne Conway: Bowling Green Attackers Were Covfefe Immigrants

White House adviser Kellyanne Conway spins a new explanation for a baffling tweet about "Covfefe" from her boss, the Commander in Chief.