Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Devin Nunes Spotted On Palace Grounds, Taking Intel To Jabba The Hutt

Did Congressman Devin Nunes, Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, have yet another clandestine meeting with a bloated, powerful slug?

Trump Demands Congress Probe Link Between Clinton, Obama, JFK, Loch Ness Monster, and Miley Cyrus

Donald Trump doesn't just want the Russia/Clinton uranium conspiracy investigated by Congress, he has more tinfoil transmissions to share.

Paul Ryan Resorts to Smacking Medications Out of Poor People’s Mouths

After eight years and more than 50 votes to repeal it, Paul Ryan realizes Obamacare is here to stay and needs a new plan to hurt the poor.

Congressional Republicans Lobby White House To Drop The “C” From Trump’s “Closer” Nickname

Co-President Donald Trump is often referred to by his staff by his nickname, "The Closer." Some in the GOP think it's time to change that.

Ted Koppel Suggests Sean Hannity Look Into Whether Obamacare Covers ‘Burns and Public Butt-Hurt’

Over the weekend, veteran news broadcaster Ted Koppel took Fox News host Sean Hannity out behind the woodshed, and now he wants to help Sean recover.

Angela Merkel Pays $300 Billion NATO Bill In Monopoly Money, Says It’s ‘Fake Money For A Fake President’

German Chancellor Angela Merkel is really starting to step into the her new role as leader of the free world, and sent a message to Trump.

Trump Returns From Fishing Trip With Catch He Tells Media Is 900-lb. Shark

When coming back to the White House from a fishing trip, President Trump claims to have caught a 900 pound great white shark.

Paul Ryan Praying God Lets Him Rob Poor People Of Their Access To Doctors Today

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan is reaching out to a higher power to help him take away essential health access from poor people.

Trump Orders DeVos to Hire Breitbart and InfoWars to Revise History Textbooks

Education Secretary Betsy DeVos has announced a new textbook partnership between her department and two right-wing media outlets.

Woman Phones Doctor, Asks If They Take TrumpCare Tax Cuts As Payment For Breast Cancer Treatments

A local woman has some important questions regarding the logistics of TrumpCare, the GOP replacement for Obamacare.