Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Park Services Report: More People Attended Don Jr./Russia Meeting Than Trump’s Inauguration

A Park Services report estimates that there were more people in the meeting between Don Jr. and the Russian lawyer than his dad's inauguration.

HIV/AIDS ‘Surprised But Honored’ to Have Higher Approval Ratings Than President Trump

President Trump has historically low approval ratings, which makes him sad. But for HIV/AIDS, it's a miracle of public relations.

Delta Offers Ann Coulter Free Lifetime Irrevocable Seat on Plane’s Wing

Conservative pundit Ann Coulter's feud with Delta Airlines may finally be coming to an end as the airline carrier offers her a deal she can't refuse.

Trump Hopes Putting Don Jr. On “Timeout” Will Resolve Russian Collusion Scandal

With mounting pressure on all sides after a bombshell New York Times article proves collusion between Don Jr. and Russia, President Trump takes bold action.

Donald Trump Accidentally Finds Obama’s Confiscated Guns Stuffed Into White House Closet

President Trump accidentally found a cache of weapons taken from good, clean, ammo hoarding American patriots by Barack Obama.

Preacher Who Prayed With Trump Wakes Up With Third Degree Hand Burns

Reverend Malloy recently "laid hands" on President Trump, and has burns on his hands to prove it.

President Trump Looking Into Statute of Limitations on Disowning Children

With Don Jr. in some real legal and political hot water, President Trump is looking into any and all solutions to his problems.

OJ Simpson Releases Knife Ahead of Bombshell NYT Story on Murders of Ron and Nicole

Former NFL star OJ Simpson found out about a new bombshell New York Times report and decided to be "transparent" and release possession of a knife.

Steve Bannon Invites Donald Trump Jr. On Fishing Trip For Just The Two Of Them

After a rough week in the headlines, Donald Trump Jr. gets to spend some quality time with the President of the United States of America on a boat.

Trump Explains the Witch Hunt Against His Son on the Back of Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate

President Trump is reportedly fuming mad at the media's insistence that they cover the most powerful family in the world accurately.