Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Tammy Lahren Bashes Highway Safety Laws While Putting on Her Seatbelt

Tammy Lahren told a Politicon audience she's still on her parents' insurance, which she couldn't be without that nasty Obamacare thing she hates.

Sarah Palin Scolds Spicer, Scaramucci, Priebus For Their Lack of Work Ethic

Former Alaska governor and reality-TV star Sarah Palin takes issue with Scaramucci, Priebus, and Spicer walking out on President Trump.

Sean Spicer Hands Scaramucci Participation Trophy as He Exists White House Press Office

Outgoing communications director Anthony Scaramucci and former Press Secretary Sean Spicer shared a moment of commiseration.

After Obamacare Repeal Fails, Ted Cruz Says He’ll Have to Return to Killing ‘Zodiac Style Instead’

Senator Ted Cruz tells a church congregation he's got to go back to doing things the old school way, after the GOP can't repeal Obamacare.

Woman’s Eyebrows Relieved to Be Second Least Believable Thing In The Room With President Trump

An exclusive interview with a very famous pair of eyebrows that were fortunate enough to be just a foot away from the president.

ISIS, Taliban Issue Joint Statement in Support of Trump’s Transgender Military Ban

President Trump may have angered a lot of Americans with his transgender military ban, but some people in other parts of the world love it.

Doctors: Priebus’ Mouth Will Stop Looking Like Trump’s Butthole Within Six Months

Former White House Chief of Staff and RNC Chairman Reince Priebus has a rare illness but doctors estimate he'll be back to normal soon.

Trump Encourages Cops to Grab Female Suspects By Their Pussies

President Donald Trump doubled-down on his rhetoric that cops should be much more willing to physically abuse suspects than before.

House Democrats Hire Ken Starr to Investigate Steve Bannon’s White House Blowjobs

New White House Comms Director Anthony Scaramucci made a rather bawdy and bold claim about Steve Bannon and Oval Office oral.

Mitch McConnell Wonders If There Really Is A God If He Won’t Let Millions of People Lose Healthcare

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is in the middle of an epic existential crisis, feeling forsook by his lord and savior.