Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Shown Archival Footage of Auschwitz Liberation, Wonders at the ‘Size Of That Jew Crowd’

Recently, President Donald J. Trump was shown archival footage of the liberation of Auschwitz, and he noticed something about the crowd size.

God Wonders How Joel Osteen Failed At Flood Response Because He’s a Christian

Televangelist Joel Osteen kept his megachurch shut to victims of Hurricane Harvey for a short time, and that made God pretty mad.

FEMA Worried Their Camps Too Overrun With Obama Prisoners to Help Harvey Victims

With Hurricane Harvey wreaking havoc, now FEMA is worried that former President Obama filled their camps with too many Republicans.

Trump Comforts Harvey Victims With Copies of 2016 Electoral College Map

After trillions of gallons of water, earth shattering winds, and days of battering weather, Donald Trump soothes the victims of Hurricane Harvey.

Hurricane Harvey: Red Cross Says Thought and Prayer Warehouses Full, Could Use Actual Help Now

The Red Cross wants Americans to consider sending help for Harvey victims that's a little more useful than words and thoughts.

Trump: Hurricane Harvey a Chinese Hoax Perpetrated by the Deep State on Behalf of Obama

Everyone knows that the blame for Hurricane Harvey rests with President Barack Obama and the Chinese government. Everyone. Knows. It.

Statue of General Sherman Blows Up Statue of Robert E. Lee

A statue of Union General William Tecumseh Sherman has been seen in Georgia, blowing up a statue of his old nemesis, General Lee.

Ted Cruz To Propose Changing The Spelling of ‘Science’ to ‘J-E-S-U-S’

Ted Cruz is the new chair of the Senate committee that handles science and space research, policy and budgeting, and his proposed law will make quite the splash.

Pat Robertson: God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep Getting Married’

Pat Robertson says the South Carolina flooding is to be blamed on gay marriage, and that more states will flood soon too.