Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Hillary Clinton Personally Sews and Sends Paul Manafort an Orange Jumpsuit

With FBI special counselor Robert Mueller breathing down his neck, former Trump campaign spox Paul Manafort may welcome gifts from anyone.

Awkward Backstage Emmys Moment When Confused Spicer Attempted Fellatio on Alec Baldwin

A befuddled Sean Spicer, former White House Press Secretary, reportedly tried to give Alec Baldwin a "Lewinksy Special" as Trump calls it.

Trump Opens Mar-a-Lago For White Nationalists Displaced By Hurricane Irma

In the wake of Hurricane Irma, and inspired by a former adult magazine executive, President Trump offers Mar-A-Lago to displaced racists.

Emmy Producers on Spicer Cameo: All Other Literal Sacks of Lying Shit Had Previous Engagements

The Emmy producers are telling the media this morning that Sean Spicer got a cameo because everyone else in his industry had previous engagements.

Woman Finds Copy of Hillary’s Hit List Stuffed Into Copy of “What Happened”

Hillary Clinton's book, "What Happened," is supposed to give us all answers, but did a woman just find more than that stuffed in her copy?

Trump Blames Hurricane Charity Check Delay On Not Doing Any Fundraisers For Cancer Kids Recently

Even though no one has seen the million dollar donation that Trump promised to make, Trump says it's coming. He just has to rob some cancer kids first.

School Shooting Victim’s Mother Asks Trump If His Travel Ban Would’ve Kept Her Daughter Alive

Her daughter was cut down by a gunman's bullet in a school shooting earlier this year, and now this woman wants answers from Trump.

Ted Nugent Offers to Teach Jemele Hill How to be Respectful of Presidents

Alleged talented musician Ted Nugent knows a thing or two about criticizing presidents he disagrees with, but he always does it with respect.

Ann Coulter’s Head Literally Explodes As Schumer and Pelosi ‘Cuck’ Trump Supporters on DACA Deal

After her beloved orange savior met and made a deal with the enemy last night, Ann Coulter has literally lost her head over it.

Ted Cruz Single-Handedly Ruins Porn for Everyone

When Ted Cruz liked a pornographic tweet from his official Twitter account this week, he started a mini-scandal, but did he also ruin porn forever?