Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Blames Vegas Shooting On Obama Not Confiscating Shooter’s Guns

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Moments after addressing the nation in the wake...

Trump Supporter Confused Why “Travel” Ban Didn’t Prevent Las Vegas Act of Terror

After the deadliest mass shooting in American history in Las Vegas, one right-winger is very confused about it's implications for Trump's travel ban.

Puerto Rican Boy Hopes Big Bowl of Trump’s Anti-NFL Tweets Will Keep Belly Full a Couple Weeks

This boy who is living with his family in hurricane ravaged Puerto Rico hopes he can sustain himself on a diet of angry NFL tweets.

Trump Cabinet Races Taxpayer Funded Gold Plated Jet Around Lower 48 States ‘For Shits and Giggles’

The Trump Cabinet just loves to fly big jets all over the country at the taxpayer's expense. Now they're racing a big gold jet for fun.

Trump Says He Regrets Never Convincing Hugh Hefner to Put Ivanka in His Magazine

President Donald Trump gave Hugh Hefner an impromptu eulogy and spoke about what he feels like is a missed opportunity for himself and Playboy.

White Woman Just Wishes Black Man Would Peacefully Request To Not Be Murdered In Some Less Noticeable Way

One white woman understands why NFL players are kneeling and even agrees with their cause, but doesn't like how they're protesting.

Cliven Bundy Offers to Educate NFL Players on the Proper Ways to Protest

When it comes to protesting the federal government, rancher Cliven Bundy thinks he may be able to give NFL players the tips they need.

Trumper Burns NFL Gear Worth 10 Years of Blue State Supported Welfare Protesting First Amendment

This NFL fan happens to also be an America lovin', gun totin', good, clean, ammo hoarding patriot, and he's sick of people who aren't.

Puerto Rico Man Waiting Until Power is Restored So He Can Be Offended by Football Players Kneeling

The island of Puerto Rico is in shambles after Hurricane Maria. Which means residents haven't had time to get offended by kneeling black people yet.

Tammy Lahren Busy Telling Black Man What He’s Experienced In Life

Right-wing pundit and Fox News contributor Tillamook Lahren is on a mission to educate black people so they know what they've experienced.