Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Man Who Got C’s In High School English Demands Immigrants ‘Speak American’ or Go Home

"What do they think gives them the right to speak whatever language they want?"

This Millennial Put Making Avocado Toast as a Skill Applying for a Job a Boomer Won’t Quit

"Mostly I was told I didn't have enough experience, which was weird because of course I don't have experience yet."

Campari Cocktail Rings- A Foodie Francis Food Review

Edible lollipops that go on your finger and taste like Campari.

Football Fan Burns NFL Gear Worth 10 Years of Blue State Supported Welfare Protesting Protests

"The problem with this country is in the goddamned first amendment!"

Hollywood Exposéd: Harvey Weinstein

BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA -- It’s a Hollywood Tradition going back to...

Tillerson Declines Trump’s IQ Test, Proposes Third Grade Spelling Bee Instead

"For God's sake, the man couldn't even spell the word 'little' correctly."

Trump: Meals on Wheels Cuts Will Cover Cost of Flying Pence Around Country Making a Show of Getting Offended by Constitution

Vice President Mike Pence will continue to fly around to NFL stadiums protesting protests of the national anthem during the national anthem.

Pat Robertson Begs ‘The Gays’ to Only Do ‘Hand and Mouth Stuff’ Until After Hurricane Season

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson told a podcast audience...

Can You Guess Which of These Big Time Hollywood Stars Literally Shits Ice Cream?

Living in Hollywood has its perks. Being a big time Hollywood celebrity has some even better ones. Like crapping ice cream, for example.

4 Sext Messages to Send Your Lover to Get Them “In the Mood”

Everyone wants to sext. But they want to sext in a way that's the sexiest sexting possible. We've got the goods to teach you how!