Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

Totally Bulls*it News James Schlarmann -
"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...
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MAGA News

Actual Witch to Trump: ‘In Your Case It’s a Whiny Bitch Hunt’

This actual, real-life witch is having none of this "I'm a victim of a witch hunt" stuff from President Donald Trump, and she's speaking out.
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Ken Starr Sees a ‘Stunning Lack of Blowjobs’ In Obstruction Case Against Trump

If there was no voluntary, consensual oral involved, Clinton prosecutor Ken Starr says Donald Trump could not have obstructed justice.
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Gang of Hooligan Thespians Attack White House With Dramatic Reading of “All the President’s Men”

We all know you just can't trust those drama kids to not commit acts of artistic terrorism. Especially not with a snowflake in chief in the White House.
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Eric Trump and Sean Hannity Agree That Inhuman, Mentally-Ill, Evil Democrats to Blame for Divisive Political Atmosphere

Eric Trump and Fox News host Sean Hannity both agree the reason the country is so divided is all the inhuman, garbage Democrats who are literal AIDS.
James Schlarmann -
Pew Pew!

Wayne LaPierre Makes Impassioned Plea For Congress to Pretend Friends and Colleagues Were First Graders

NRA Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre wants members of Congress to pretend their friends and colleagues were just innocent first graders.
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Jeff Sessions Can’t Recall Why Anyone Ever Thought He’s Competent at Anything

Attorney General Jeff Sessions might have a few issues with his memory. And he can't figure out why anyone every thought he was good at anything he did.
James Schlarmann -
Pew Pew!

His Anti-Government, Pro-Gun Rhetoric Aside, This Man Condemns ‘Libtard Violence’ of VA Shooting

HOBART, ARKANSAS -- As a member of the First Arkansas Backyard...
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Ivanka Trump to Sing “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” to Her Daddy at Party

On his 71st birthday, President Trump will have his daughter Ivanka serenade him with a traditional birthday song.
James Schlarmann -
Science & Medicine

EXCLUSIVE LOOK! Leaked Details of GOP’s Top Secret Obamacare Replacement Bill

Republicans have been writing their replacement for Obamacare in secret. But initial details of the law they're drafting have just been leaked.
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Melania Asks for Separate Beds in White House Master Bedroom

Living under the same roof as her husband for the first time in five months is hard enough. Now Melania realizes she needs her own bed still.
James Schlarmann -
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