Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

Totally Bulls*it News James Schlarmann -
"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...
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Totally Bulls*it News

Tillerson Declines Trump’s IQ Test, Proposes Third Grade Spelling Bee Instead

President Trump has issued a challenge to his own Secretary of State Rex Tillerson to see whose IQ is bigliest and whose isn't-liest.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ivanka Reminds Feuding Mommies No Matter Who Is First Lady She Is ‘Daddy’s Bottom Bitch’

Me-owwww! Things are heating up on the lame new reality-TV political...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Supporter Confused That “Travel” Ban Didn’t Prevent Las Vegas Act of Terror

"It's every American's solemn, God given right to own as many semi-automatic rifles as they want."
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Governor of Puerto Rico Not Sure Citizens Can Eat Merry Christmas or Use It For Shelter, Power

"I don't think anyone saying Happy Holidays will do anywhere near the same damage as the hurricane."
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

President of U.S. Virgin Islands Desperately Trying to Convince President Trump to Resign

"Even Vanka's been too busy lately to come. Or visit."
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

M&M’s Banned from White House Kitchens and Candy Dishes

"Their thin candy shells will be no match for our nook-you-ler missiles."
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

BIGLY SIZE ME: Eat Like Trump for 30 Days in the New Food Documentary

“Stealing Ideas is the Sincerest Form of Flattery.”
FFrancis -
Totally Bulls*it News

Top 3 Serial Sexual Predators Featured at This Year’s Values Voter Summit

Those who attend the Values Voter Summit can expect to be given the religious conservative viewpoint on a whole host of topics from abortion, to abortion, to also abortion, and oh, probably they'll mention something about dead babies after they mention abortion.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trumper With Brain Cancer Losing Obamacare Subsidy Plans Last Words: “At Least Obamacare Died Too”

"Why should some rich guy pay for my medicine just because he's already hiding billions of dollars from the rest of us in offshore accounts?"
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump to Use Obamacare Subsidies to Pay for His Trips to Mar-A-Lago During the Winter

"In times of great need, sometimes we all have to sacrifice. And by 'we all' I of course mean the plebs."
James Schlarmann -
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