Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Gowdy Promises to Get to Bottom of Connection Between Manafort, Clinton, and Benghazi

"The first step is to figure out how it's all Hillary Clinton's fault."

Trump’s Sons Are Going to Scare White House Trick-or-Treaters as ‘Pointy-Headed Ghosts’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning the Trump administration announced that First...

‘Kellyanne, What Language Do They Speak in Argentina?’ asks Trump as Charges Announced in Mueller Probe

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Marking a major day in the ongoing investigation...

Hillary Clinton Circling Block Around FBI Headquarters Chanting “Lock Him Up” While Manafort Processed

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort...

Jeff Sessions Starts Smoking Weed to Alleviate Stress of Russia Scandal

"This Russia shit is really getting to me, man."

Trump Preemptively Pardons Himself for Pardoning Himself for Things He Says He Didn’t Do

"We don't put people on trial for attempting to commit a crime, do we?"