Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Assures Voters America Is Too Old For Roy Moore To “Mess Around With”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Back in the nation's capital after flying to...

Trump Supporter .25% More Likely To Vote For A Democrat After Franken Resigns

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing activist and podcaster Jethro Bohiggins...

Roy Moore Starts Oingo Boingo Tribute Band To Tour Alabama Malls and Middle Schools

"Oingo Bango is ready to start touring the middle schools and strip malls of this great state."

Donald Trump Jr. Plans To Invoke Attorney-Dumbfuck Privilege At Every Future Russia Hearing

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Yesterday, Donald Trump Jr., the president's...

Paul Ryan: “Just Kidding! I Love Debt And Deficits!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When the Joint Committee on Taxation -- a...

Wisconsin Republican Wants Food Stamp Recipients’ Stomachs Pumped

LAKE TETE DE PÉNIS, WISCONSIN -- Republican Rep. Tom Thompaulsen is...

Christian Baker Refuses To Sell Wedding Cakes To ‘Fake Christian Bigots’

STAG HORN, COLORADO -- While the case of a fellow Colorado...

Trump: U.S. To Boycott 2018 Winter Olympics In Solidarity With Russia

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump issued an executive order today...

Report: Karen Pence Has A Pulse, Her Vision, And Her Ears Work Well Enough

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Any previous media reports that doubted the health...