Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Lobbyist Outraged Rosie O’Donnell Tried To Horn-In On His Action

WASHINGTON. DC. -- From inside The Gilded Lilly, a D.C. area...

Disney Apologizes For Using His Soul To Sculpt Animatronic Trump In Hall of Presidents

ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA -- The Walt Disney Company has issued an official...

Trump Wanted To Veto GOP Tax Plan After Finding Out Obama Would Benefit From It Too

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Independent and non-partisan estimates of the GOP tax...

Trump Preemptively Pardons Himself for Pardoning Himself for Things He Says He Didn’t Do

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's Russian headaches will not go...

T-Bone Lahren Wants President of Carolinas To Forbid Sale Of Panthers To P-Diddy

SIN CEREBRO, TEXAS -- Timpani Lahren, the feisty blonde conservative commentator...

The Most Extensive List Of The Last Jedi Spoilers Anywhere

Not everyone likes spoilers, we get that here. In fact, many...

White House Cleaning Staff Accidentally Find Trump’s Russian Birth Certificate

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A shocking development in the nation's capital today...

Disney Needed Russian Imagineers To Finish Installing Donald Trump Animatron In Hall of Presidents

ORLANDO, FLORIDA -- In their Magic Kingdom at their Walt Disney...

“The Last Jedi” Brings in Historic $23 Squintjillion Opening Weekend Haul

Before its release, many in Tinseltown predicted that the latest installment...