Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Dozens Of Tiny Envelopes Ordered For President Trump’s Fake News Awards

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over six dozen of the world's tiniest envelopes...

New Restaurant Caters To Anti-Vaxxers With A Taste For Tide Pods

SWILLY CORN, CALIFORNIA -- At Maison Des Gens Stupides, Chef Roy Ardi...

Trump ‘Moved Bigly’ And Inspired By Michelle Obama’s Golden Globes Speech To Be A Better Man

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump left the White...

Trump Supporter Worried Trump Alienated His Base With Genius Boasts

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Jethro Bohiggins, right-wing podcaster and Facebook...

Mr. Ed And Seabiscuit Deny President Trump Is A Stable Genius

In a joint press release, Mr. Ed, and Seabiscuit -- both...

MENSA Finds “Genius” Donald Trump’s Membership Card

ARLINGTON, TEXAS -- The executive team of American MENSA, a long-running...

Trump Has “Fire and Fury” Transcribed Into Pictures So He Can Understand Which Parts To Call Fake News

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite heavy pressure from his bully pulpit, President...

President Trump Blames Bomb Cyclone On Muslim Ban Court Delays

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Trump acknowledged the deadly winter storms...

Hillary Clinton Will Read The Audiobook Version Of “Fire and Fury”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Alinsky Talent Agency announced this morning...

Sessions ‘Greatly Troubled’ About Legal Recreational Weed And His Ability To Incarcerate Young Black Men

WASHINGTON,  D.C. -- This morning, word broke that U.S. Attorney General...