Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Local Woman Tends To Cuss A Lot When You Act Like A Goddamned F_ _king S_ _theaded C_ck-Faced Tw_t Waffle

Megan Hofer, 35 years old and from Santa Chingada, California, admits...

Trump’s Doctor Worried When Physical Reveals No Human Heart Or Brain

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Traditionally, American presidents as far back as the...

Trump Orders ‘Except From Shithole Countries’ Added To Statue of Liberty Poem

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Moments after delivering a speech about Martin Luther...

Obama Suing President Trump For Libel

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In court documents filed today, former President Barack...

Woman Mildly Comforted By Knowledge That As Bad As Today Was, It Can Always Be Worse Tomorrow

Helen Nguyen considers herself a "pragmatic realist." Recently, she had her...

Man Worried He Has To Get Swastika Tattoo If He Has Criticisms Of “The Last Jedi”

A local man in his late thirties expressed concerns this week...

Taco Bell Taps Charlie Daniels To Promote Their New IllumiNachos Bell Grande

Country music legend Charlie Daniels is not a fan of The...

Stephen Miller Waits In Front Of Flagpole After School For Jake Tapper

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The Internet was abuzz after White...

Literal Piece Of Shit Considers Challenging Arpaio For AZ Senate Seate

GRIFFIN BEACH, ARIZONA -- Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the 85 year old...