Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Moscow Demands Trump Help End Putin’s Shadow Government Shutdown

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Russian President Vladimir Putin has sent a strongly...

Study Reveals Inverse Relationship Between Genital Size and Saying “Cuck”

One of the nation's leading scientific research organizations has concluded that...

Petition Started To Remove Confederate Monument From Attorney General’s Office

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A new petition has been circulating online and...

U.S. Recruits Its Best Athlete To Winter Olympics Team

COLORADO SPRINGS, COLORADO -- In a surprising and completely unforeseen development,...

Hannity And Limbaugh: Obama Once Used A Copy Of Forbes Magazine To Spank A Fly

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While the Obama Administration faced a few scandal...

Trump Asks John Kelly If Taxpayers Will Still Pay For His Golf Outing Security During Government Shutdown

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are telling reporters...