Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

President Trump Orders ‘The Dictionary’ To Change Definition Of Treason

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump issued an executive...

God Shuts Down Heaven’s Sexual Predator And Despot Lines Prior To This Morning’s Prayer Breakfast

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- At the annual D.C. prayer breakfast...

John Kelly Assures Trump He Won’t Be Only Misogynist Woman Abuser In White House For Too Long

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, after two of his ex-wives came forward...

Americans Disappointed To Find Out Trump Wasn’t On Falcon Heavy

Yesterday, SpaceX, the private sector aerospace development company run by inventor...