Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

God Shuts Down Heaven’s Sexual Predator And Despot Lines Prior To This Morning’s Prayer Breakfast

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- At the annual D.C. prayer breakfast...

John Kelly Assures Trump He Won’t Be Only Misogynist Woman Abuser In White House For Too Long

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, after two of his ex-wives came forward...

Americans Disappointed To Find Out Trump Wasn’t On Falcon Heavy

Yesterday, SpaceX, the private sector aerospace development company run by inventor...

Economy Halts As 93% Of Americans Who Don’t Root For Egomaniacal Cheaters Too Hungover To Work After Celebrating Super Bowl LII

Most people are too hungover after watching the Patriots lose the Super Bowl to go to go work.