Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Furious Trump Demands American Curlers Take Their Shots Standing Upright

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House have reported that...

Puerto Rico And Flint, Michigan Are Vying To Host Trump’s Military Parade

A recent poll conducted by The Military Times shows that the overwhelming majority...

John Kelly Wants OJ Simpson To Join The Trump Administration

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are today saying...

Trump Says He Will Release Democrats’ FISA Memo When It Looks Exactly Like The Nunes Memo

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Late Friday night, the White House announced that...

Report: John Kelly Urging OJ Simpson To Replace Rob Porter In The Trump Administration

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are today saying...

Report: John Kelly Urging OJ Simpson To Replace Rob Porter In The Trump Administration

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are today saying...

Bags Of Lady Doritos Would Contain 20-25% Fewer Chips Than Regular Doritos

During a podcast interview recently, PepsiCo Indra Nooyi hinted that perhaps in...

Olympics Opening Ceremony Gives Mike Pence Dangerous Levels Of Trouser Turgidity

PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA -- White House officials are confirming at this...