Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Congratulates Putin On Second Presidential Election Victory Since 2016

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump made a call...

California Dispensary Returns Jeff Sessions’ Lost ID

EL DORADO VERDE  VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Earlier this month, Attorney General...

Robert Mueller Assures Andrew McCabe His Office Door Is Always Open, ‘Just In Case’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Late Friday night, Attorney General Jeff Sessions fired...

SpaceX Developing New Mars Leash So Space Colonists Can Be Yanked Back Home

Elon Musk's SpaceX is at it again! Today, at a press conference...

McDonald’s Unveils New “McFuckIt” Burger For Customers Who Just Don’t Care Anymore

OAK BROOK, ILLINOIS -- Fast food monolith McDonald's told investors today...

After Divorce, Donald Trump Jr. Hopes To Follow In Daddy’s Footsteps

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Rumors have begun swirling that Donald...

Trump Lists Three Branches Of Government: “National, Rifle, Association”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Inside the Oval Office today, President Donald Trump's...

Astronaut Worried He Doesn’t Have All The Wrong Stuff For Trump’s Space Force

CAPE JUSTICE, FLORIDA -- Astronaut Commander Michael Deckster has been one...

5 Scientific Reasons Stephen Hawking Was Hung Like A Horse

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); Stephen Hawking is dead. The world is now...