Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

White House Doctors Trying To Remove Comey’s Shoe From President’s Rectum

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Authorities at this hour are confirming that White...

Betsy DeVos Orders Immediate Flattening Of All School Globes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This weekend, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos issued an...

Sex Toys “R” Us Announces Record Profits And Dozens Of Store Openings

This story was first published on Satirical Facts. BONE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Retail...

Trump Asks Putin If He Should Send James Comey an Edible Arrangement

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- According to sources within the White House, President...

The Alternative Science Behind the All-Bacon Diet

Fad and crash diets are a dime a dozen, and not...

Richard Nixon Experiencing Crazy Case Of Deja Vu

LAKE OF FIRE, ETERNITY -- From deep within the bowels of...

Trump Demands Comey Release Picture Book Edition Of New Tell-All “A Higher Loyalty”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump lashed out on Twitter at...

Hillary Clinton Offers To Represent President Trump In His Impeachment Trial

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham...

New Restaurant Caters To Anti-Vaxxers With A Taste For Tide Pods

This story was first published on The Pastiche Post. SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA...