Totally Bulls*it News

He Used Legal Cannabis, Nothing Really Happened

Later he said he smoked the cannabis, and "ate a bunch of chips," which he later confirmed was the whole bag. In California, a man...

USPS Announces New “Whatever” Stamps For Customers Who Just Can’t Right Now

The United States Postal Service has announced that they are adding...

Post Office Announces New “Whatever” Stamps For Customers Who Just Can’t Right Now

The United States Postal Service has announced that they are adding...

Trump Says National Guard Needed To Protect The Border To Stop Taco Bell’s Invasion Of America

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Donald Trump signed an executive order...

Elon Musk Developing New Social Media Platform MySpaceX.com

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- This morning, a new social media...

Right-Winger Outraged Lazy Liberals Couldn’t Create Single Conspiracy Theory About YouTube Shooting or Shooter

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Self-proclaimed right-wing provocateur Jethro Bohiggins hosts...

Sinclair Broadcasting’s Robo-Anchor 5000 Says He Has Pre-Programmed Mind Of His Own

HUNT VALLEY, MARYLAND -- A viral video put together by Deadspin is making...

Elon Musk Developing Non-Drowsy Antihistamine Infused Condoms

SILLYCON VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A new trend is sweeping the nation:...

Ted Nugent Credits Clean Lifestyle, Being Total Raging Asshole For Out Living Contemporaries

SHART BRITCHES, MICHIGAN -- Aging, once-briefly-relevant rocker Ted Nugent made national...

David “Avocado” Wolfe Named FDA High Wizard Chieftain Of Raw Foods And Woo

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump announced that he has created...