Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Pardons John Wilkes Booth

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Just hours after announcing he was going to...

Town Racist Blames Ambien Script Running Out For Brief Bout Of Tolerance

BEDFORD FOREST, WEST VIRGINIA -- Ed Foy would never, ever have...

Historians Uncover Robert E. Lee’s Ambien Prescription

ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA -- Historians cleaning out an upstairs hall closet at...

Study Confirms Mike Pence Thinks About LGTBQ Stuff More Than People Participating In LGTBQ Stuff

BONTÉ FALLS, WEST VIRGINIA -- Researchers in West Virginia recently published the...

Fox News Picks Up “Roseanne” For Season 11

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Under considerable pressure from President Donald...

“Roseanne” Cancellation Has Trump Worried Racist Tweets ‘Can Cost You Your Job Now’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A nervous and paranoid Donald Trump picked up...