Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Hillary Clinton Circling Omarosa’s Building Shouting, ‘Lock Her Up!’

At the time of publication, eyewitnesses are reporting that former Secretary...

Putin Wants to Compare Tapes With Omarosa

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- There is at least one person who runs...

Americans Prepare To Launch Their Affordable Healthcare, Universal Education Into Space

All over the country, Americans are talking about President Donald Trump's...

Pat Robertson Blames California Wildfires On State Not Picking Trump In 2016

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- While multiple wildfires engulf parts of California,...

How To Become a Libertarian in 15-ish Steps, by Loretta Splitair

Well, who doesn't love freedom? I know I do, but I'll...

Steven Seagal Looking Forward To Piss Whores

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Former alleged actor and martial artist Steven Seagal...

Trump’s Lawyers Release List of Questions They’ll Allow Mueller To Ask Their Client

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's no secret on the Hill that Special...

Lebron James Forms 2020 Election Committee With Slogan: “Real Billionaire, Real President, Real Results”

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA -- NBA star Lebron...

While Punching Orphan In The Face And Spitting On Nun’s Tits, Trump Complains of ‘Overly Negative Press’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is truly and utterly confounded...