Totally Bulls*it News

She Told Her Boyfriend She’s Keeping Her Vote Secret Until He Finds Her Clit

Regular readers will recall that one of the things we pride ourselves on most here is our ability to secure interviews with the nation's...

Amazon Working On Rectal Recognition Software So You Always Know Who Dealt It

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos...

President Trump Furious He Can’t Get Into Ivanka’s Pants

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An irate President Trump lashed out violently this...

VP Mike Pence Will Push Congress For Law Stating Life Begins At “Pre-Cum”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This year, Vice President Mike Pence will make...

Trump’s Space Force Laser Guns Will Go “Pee! Pee!” Instead of “Pew! Pew!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has changed his mind, and...

Trump Rolls-Back Obama Era Endorsement of Oxygen

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's no big secret on the Hill that...

Parenting Study: Kids Will Probably Be A-Holes Regardless of What You Do

A new study published in the  North American Pediatric Psychology Review...

Mexican American Has Surprisingly Little Problem Believing Trump Has Used The N-Word Before

LOS CHINGADEROS NARANJOS, CALIFORNIA -- Whether or not the sitting President...

Jim Jordan Legally Changes Name To “Gym Paterno” To Avoid Scandal

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There is no longer a congressman named Rep....

Local Dickhead Abandons Old Dickhead Ways for a New Dickhead Life with MLM Jesus

North Bloomfield, CA -- In what his friends are calling a...