Totally Bulls*it News

Oh Cool, I’m Blogging About Politics Again. Can Anyone Remember Why?

A long time ago, in a country that feels a million miles away now, I started this stupid little website because as I was...

Donald Trump Claims John Lennon Is His Favorite Band

Washington, D.C. -- On the heels of a tweet announcing that...

Hellraiser Holiday Starbucks Cup Sends Area Woman to Hell

Sparks, NV -- 31-year-old Dawn Qualls found herself in the torturous...

Sarah Sanders Confidently and Stridently Incorrectly Explains To Her Ham Sandwich How Government is Funded

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A contentious moment between White House Press Secretary...

Mexico Agrees to Pay For Stephen Miller’s Hair Plugs

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador dropped what...

Everybody Totally Believed That Was Stephen Miller’s Real Hair

The alarm went off at its usual time -- 3:30am in...

Area Libertarian Still Calls His Mom ‘Mother’

Houston, TX -- A 48-year-old Houston man surprised his coworkers after...

Donald Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane, Promises to Terminate Program

Washington D.C -- Donald Trump, accompanied by select members of his...

Santa Claus Requests Permission from Trump to Bring Gifts to Jailed Migrant Children

NORTH POLE, EARTH -- The San-T-Claus Corporation, a corporate entity responsible...

Trump Interviewing Hillary Clinton For Chief of Staff

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The mounting tension between President Donald Trump and...

Court Filings Reveal FBI’s Code Name for Don Jr: Individual-IQ-1

BENEDICT, NEW YORK -- Last week, court filings in FBI Special...