Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Barr Exonerates Dozens of Criminals Who Were Arrested After Scooby-Doo’s Investigations

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a truly shocking and unforeseen chain of...

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Watches Emotionally as Childhood Belfry Goes Up In Flames

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While scholars and historians mourn the irreparable damage...

Trump: “Aww, Bummer! My Tax Returns Were in Notre Dame!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump sent a letter to the...

Barr Says No Evidence of Fire in Notre Dame Cathedral

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Authorities in Paris have not determined a cause...

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Watches Emotionally as Childhood Belfry Goes Up In Flames

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While scholars and historians mourn the irreparable damage...

Trump Wonders Whether First Amendment Protects Omar Because She’s Not Christian

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the last several days, right-wing pundits and...

SETI Misses Extraterrestrial Communication During “Game of Thrones” Premiere

SPEELBERGH, CALIFORNIA -- For decades, the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence Institute,...

Bob Mueller Apologizes to Country for His Coup’s Last Minute Decision to Clear Trump of Collusion Instead

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Critics of President Donald Trump have lambasted him...

Kirstjen Nielsen Filling Out Employment Application At On The Border Mexican Grill

GOLD HILLS, VIRGINIA -- Former Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen...