Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Man Goes to Truly Extreme Lengths to Avoid Game of Thrones and Endgame Spoilers

BIG BEAN LAKE, CALIFORNIA -- Heath Smalley is a self-described "hardcore,...

Trump Congratulates White Janitor Who Cleaned Up After NFL Draft

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This weekend, President Trump congratulated Nick Bosa, a...

Confessions of a Liberal Baby Killer

Over the weekend, President Donald Trump held a klan campaign rally...

Trump to Give Robert E. Lee Posthumous Medal of Freedom

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Hours after heaping praise on Confederate General Robert...

North Challenges LaPierre to AR-15 Duel for Control of NRA

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There's a power struggle developing at the National...

Trump Considering Order to Change “No Way, Josè” to “Not a Chance, Lance”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump announced that he...

NBC To Issue Presidential Trigger Warning Before Every Episode Of Saturday Night Live

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Since becoming President, Donald Trump has...

6 Important Warning Signs That You Might Have Windmill Cancer

Windmill cancer, or wind cancer as it's also referred to, is...

Trump to Give Robert E. Lee Posthumous Medal of Freedom

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Hours after heaping praise on Confederate General Robert...